“Are You Tired?”

Hozier and I - May 22nd, 2023

I've had a week to sit on this story since I’ve been going back and forth on it. I tell the story to my friends and family, and it's a sweet moment between strangers. I've also debated on it since maybe I'm reading into it hard where it wasn’t that deep. It was a profound moment for me, so I think it's worth sharing.

A few friends of mine gradually introduced me to the work of Hozier within the last few months. I’ve been familiar with his work since “Take Me To Church” was released, but I hadn’t taken the time to sit with his records until recently. The first song I latched on to is off his first record, “Angel of Small Death & The Codeine Scene”, and partially because of what there was to unpack just from the name. From that song on, I was hooked. I listened to as many interviews as I could with him to gain a sense of his process and work ethic, and it's frustrating how underappreciated he is as an artist (this is a read on myself).

He released some new music off his coming record Unreal Unearth coming in August, and part of the promotional process has been a few meet-and-greet opportunities across the states. When I found out about the meet-and-greet in Boston, this was an opportunity not to pass on, although Boston was a few hours away, and I had to move apartments the following day. Still, I got the pre-order for the wristband, and my close friend decided to join me. It would be a Monday worth waking up for. 

That day we loaded into my car looking our best for waking up at around 6 a.m., and we made the drive to Boston from the Hudson Valley. We parked and got over to the store to collect our wristbands at around noon, then hung out in line after a lunch stop down the road. We sat on the pavement trying not to trip passersby with our feet and bags sticking out in the street, and we sat in the sun from around noon till four o’clock or so. We had good conversations with the people in line with us, and we answered strangers' questions about what we were doing. At this point, I was fatigued, cold, and a little skittish. It would be a few hours and we made the best of it whilst sunburning and getting pins and needles from sitting poorly.

Four o’clock rolls around, and to be honest with you, I’m shaking. The drowsiness was replaced with pure adrenaline, and it was time to practice deep breathing not to pass out. I’ve photographed Joe Biden during an event before with the secret service littered around watching my every move, but this Irish musician had me feeling lightheaded. The good news is I didn’t pass out, but my memory is spotty from the interaction. My game plan was to have as long a conversation as the staff would allow, take photos, and ask an all-important question about his favorite song from Tom Waits’s album Blood Money. This sort of worked.

I had a screen recording of the entire interaction, so I can at least look back and fill myself in on what happened. I introduced myself with my government name and spoke with my hands. I said we drove three and a half hours here, and he offers a sympathetic and appreciative “Oh my god” and pulls me in for the photo. I say, “Can we do a little peace sign moment?” (an interesting sentence) and he goes yup. He asks, “Are you tired?” and with my eyes on my camera, my hand up with the peace sign, and my arm around his waist shaking, I nod my head not breaking my smile. My friend comes in for the group photo, we say thank you, and he tells us to drive home safely. In all, this was around two minutes, and I never asked my Tom Waits question, which I’m kicking myself over.

We leave, collect our signed poster, and I sit down outside on a ledge ready to pass out as the adrenaline leaves my body and is replaced with a dissociative haze. We end up in an oyster bar where I examine the photos and realize the screen-recorded video was just fine, but the photos weren’t up to my expectations (at least that's what I was thinking at the moment). The photos taken are of me trying to talk to Andrew with whatever cool I thought I showed, and him slightly furrowing his brow as he engages in conversation with me. Each photo is me looking at him, him looking to the side, him with his mouth open mid-sentence asking me if I was tired, and me holding a stoic but nervous smile. After digging through shots and moments of the video and feeling a little insecure about the situation, I watched the video over and listened in.

“Are you tired?” is loud and clear. The brief moment between explaining our travel situation, asking for a photo pose, and then the silence that compelled him to ask a simple question of me. I’m somewhere else in that moment with the mind to only nod, but for some reason realizing what that simple question meant to me deep down brought me to tears. In my defense, between the comedown of the day, the hunger, the discomfort in my feet, and the overwhelming sense of care a stranger I admire showed me in a brief moment I wasn’t terrible present for, it makes sense that I let my mascara run. I was really tired, and it was deeper than just not sleeping the night before. I had no thought of explaining my trials and tribulations at that moment after the question was posed, but what is tiring me out pales in comparison to a few hour's drive. 

Hozier’s music has profoundly spoken to me during this new phase of my life. I was there to see him, and thank him for it. It was a day that I got to share with a beautiful friend of mine whose been a fan for several years now, and it was an experience I was so excited to be a part of and help facilitate. In my interaction with him, I was dedicated only to his presence. To explain what we did for him to make this moment possible was necessary to me, but it was unnecessary to ask me how I was. Yet he still did, and an easy check-in like that at the sacrifice of a conventionally-flattering photograph is all worth it. 

This interaction, although brief, confirmed what I thought I knew Hozier to be as a person, as informed by what was available to me to make such an assumption. Grateful, selfless. It is not a quality many people hold, especially when someone is at the status of wrapping lines of people around blocks to have a personal moment with you. When it is, it is worth noting, even if it is asking if I was tired (for the record, I am.)